Im addicted to words I cant speak
October 27-28, 2007 - This was the cross training. I wanted to go for God and I did. I missed the fair but I didn't regret it. That leadership seminar taught me a lot. I just felt really ugly during the whole retreat because there was the "laglagan boys". The laglagan boys told each other their secret, and who there crushes were and I felt so ugly cause I had a feeling that no one liked me. I KNOW ITS LAME. I just felt bad. No problem though.... I mean, maybe to them i'm not... But I know that I am beautiful in my own way and all that matters is that my Fredrick Alfonso knows that I am.
October 29-November 4, 2007 -Sembreak
October 30, 2007 - My dad and I went to Makro(?) and bought me another cheap phone since I lost my other phone. Bonding with my adorable dad.
October 31, 2007 - LSS Planning. Read my other blog. under 11.13.2007. So there. it says it all. But the weird thing there was... Angelo was there and I seemed to care. I felt like he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to assume. I still like him, duh.
October 31-November 3, 2007 -Went to visit Lola. She is so cute. They are all so cute. I like going to the province... It's so relaxing there. It was pretty much same old. But there was a part where we went to a church and it was just so pretty there. I went to pray for my entering the Ateneo and I really don't know what would happen if I dont enter there. I've been praying to get in the Ateneo since last last year and I just hope.
Also, o6 and I kept texting on how great it was during the fair and stuff. And I really like her, sad to say.
November 4, 2007 - Gab, Dad and I went to the Block and to trinoma. Not much to say but we just wanted to hang out, I guess.
November 5, 2007 - remember o2? Well, she admitted that she likes me again.
November 6, 2007 - Apol, my friend, has invited me several times to this Jzone thing and I finally decided to go. I was truly amazed that there are really people who there for Him and not just the benefits of it. I applaud you.
This was also the last time we were to see our FIT kids! They were oh so cute. We had a super advance christmas party and I was just so glad to see them all happy. Edgar was my favorite, though I felt like he is an abused child. But we did this party for him. Because he wanted to know what Jolibee tasted like. He's so sweet and I hope and pray he'll do great in his future!
November 7, 2007 - o6 and I went to Shang together and watched a movie. I saw Rozen, Jan and Preki there so I just had to hide. It's not that i'm ashamed of o6, its just that... I wasn't ready to tell my friends about her.
I noticed that there was something different. You see, when o2 told me that she like me... My feelings for o6 went away. It's like.... i only like o6 because I wanted to feel love and when I got that from o2, its like I didn't need o6 after all. which was bad. cause o6 really likes me and I feel like im using her. but i'm not. I really like her. Even though I shouldn't.
November 10, 2007 - I went to the National Library with mon, lyca, clehr, o6, iah, kaye and sab. It was really fun. We commuted and it was truly and adventure. We spent alot of money commuting but the thrill was really fun.
o6 felt that there was something different with us and she and I had our first fight. It was just that... she wanted more. I couldn't give her that. I just wanted to leave her but i just couldn't. She wanted commitment, I don't like commitment. I'm not ready. But we ended up being okay again.
November 12, 2007 - check my public blog, posted all on 11.13.07.
November 15, 2007 - o6, lyca and I watch One More Chance. I really didn't like the ending cause the lead characters got back together. I was hoping they didn't cause o2 relates that movie with us because she wants us to have another chance and I really don't want to. cause i know she'll just end up breaking my heart.
November 16-18, 2007 - LSS. As i explained it all on the 11.24.07 blog... there was something that I didn't share. November 17.....Angelo hugged me twice. and both in the ways I wanted to be hugged. I like being hugged from the back and wow. I SO REGRET MOVING AWAY FROM HIM. I just wish
i just stayed there. Haaaaay. So obvious that I still like him. Hahahahah
I feel bad cause I know I'm suppose to let go of o6, but still i fight with the question that God allows homosexuality. I mean..... I read alot of peoples reactions and the bible really doesn't say anything wrong about it but still. there is this little voice inside of me saying that i shouldn't. But then... what if that voice is just the society speaking and not really God? I really love Him and I don't want to hurt Him, but how will I know? I want to be happy and I find happiness in o6... But i feel that its wrong. but i dont know if it is really. I DONT KNOW.
I finally felt a bit better when i asked o6, to give me my heart back cause I wanted to give it back to God. and i did. amen.
November 23, 2007 - I was the student of the quarter. And I really really really didn't want to go up the stage. I sort of knew why I was going up the stage and I know helping others is a good thing.. but i'd rather be the one watching than the one being watched. Though it felt good to receive the loudest clap, it felt bad that people kept joking about me helping others. I know i should be proud. I know I should. But i'm really not. but whatever.
Was with o6, trish, lyca and chuca. Funfunfun.
November 24, 2007 - LNP Bazaar with Lance, Dannie, Marcel and John. and bonding with my adorable dad!
My mom has been pretty busy with her work and i rarely get to see her. All i get is stuff and food that she gets from her work, and its cool and all... but i want my mom.
i know o6 and i should stop and i plan to stop whatever is going on by the end of the year. i just hope i have the guts to do it. i feel that what im doing is right, but im not sure. i really dont know. maybe its a sign... God's conscience? God's voice? Oh my. I just hope I really do make the right decision. But how will I end it and keep the friendship? Ack.
October 29-November 4, 2007 -Sembreak
October 30, 2007 - My dad and I went to Makro(?) and bought me another cheap phone since I lost my other phone. Bonding with my adorable dad.
October 31, 2007 - LSS Planning. Read my other blog. under 11.13.2007. So there. it says it all. But the weird thing there was... Angelo was there and I seemed to care. I felt like he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to assume. I still like him, duh.
October 31-November 3, 2007 -Went to visit Lola. She is so cute. They are all so cute. I like going to the province... It's so relaxing there. It was pretty much same old. But there was a part where we went to a church and it was just so pretty there. I went to pray for my entering the Ateneo and I really don't know what would happen if I dont enter there. I've been praying to get in the Ateneo since last last year and I just hope.
Also, o6 and I kept texting on how great it was during the fair and stuff. And I really like her, sad to say.
November 4, 2007 - Gab, Dad and I went to the Block and to trinoma. Not much to say but we just wanted to hang out, I guess.
November 5, 2007 - remember o2? Well, she admitted that she likes me again.
November 6, 2007 - Apol, my friend, has invited me several times to this Jzone thing and I finally decided to go. I was truly amazed that there are really people who there for Him and not just the benefits of it. I applaud you.
This was also the last time we were to see our FIT kids! They were oh so cute. We had a super advance christmas party and I was just so glad to see them all happy. Edgar was my favorite, though I felt like he is an abused child. But we did this party for him. Because he wanted to know what Jolibee tasted like. He's so sweet and I hope and pray he'll do great in his future!
November 7, 2007 - o6 and I went to Shang together and watched a movie. I saw Rozen, Jan and Preki there so I just had to hide. It's not that i'm ashamed of o6, its just that... I wasn't ready to tell my friends about her.
I noticed that there was something different. You see, when o2 told me that she like me... My feelings for o6 went away. It's like.... i only like o6 because I wanted to feel love and when I got that from o2, its like I didn't need o6 after all. which was bad. cause o6 really likes me and I feel like im using her. but i'm not. I really like her. Even though I shouldn't.
November 10, 2007 - I went to the National Library with mon, lyca, clehr, o6, iah, kaye and sab. It was really fun. We commuted and it was truly and adventure. We spent alot of money commuting but the thrill was really fun.
o6 felt that there was something different with us and she and I had our first fight. It was just that... she wanted more. I couldn't give her that. I just wanted to leave her but i just couldn't. She wanted commitment, I don't like commitment. I'm not ready. But we ended up being okay again.
November 12, 2007 - check my public blog, posted all on 11.13.07.
November 15, 2007 - o6, lyca and I watch One More Chance. I really didn't like the ending cause the lead characters got back together. I was hoping they didn't cause o2 relates that movie with us because she wants us to have another chance and I really don't want to. cause i know she'll just end up breaking my heart.
November 16-18, 2007 - LSS. As i explained it all on the 11.24.07 blog... there was something that I didn't share. November 17.....Angelo hugged me twice. and both in the ways I wanted to be hugged. I like being hugged from the back and wow. I SO REGRET MOVING AWAY FROM HIM. I just wish
i just stayed there. Haaaaay. So obvious that I still like him. Hahahahah
I feel bad cause I know I'm suppose to let go of o6, but still i fight with the question that God allows homosexuality. I mean..... I read alot of peoples reactions and the bible really doesn't say anything wrong about it but still. there is this little voice inside of me saying that i shouldn't. But then... what if that voice is just the society speaking and not really God? I really love Him and I don't want to hurt Him, but how will I know? I want to be happy and I find happiness in o6... But i feel that its wrong. but i dont know if it is really. I DONT KNOW.
I finally felt a bit better when i asked o6, to give me my heart back cause I wanted to give it back to God. and i did. amen.
November 23, 2007 - I was the student of the quarter. And I really really really didn't want to go up the stage. I sort of knew why I was going up the stage and I know helping others is a good thing.. but i'd rather be the one watching than the one being watched. Though it felt good to receive the loudest clap, it felt bad that people kept joking about me helping others. I know i should be proud. I know I should. But i'm really not. but whatever.
Was with o6, trish, lyca and chuca. Funfunfun.
November 24, 2007 - LNP Bazaar with Lance, Dannie, Marcel and John. and bonding with my adorable dad!
My mom has been pretty busy with her work and i rarely get to see her. All i get is stuff and food that she gets from her work, and its cool and all... but i want my mom.
i know o6 and i should stop and i plan to stop whatever is going on by the end of the year. i just hope i have the guts to do it. i feel that what im doing is right, but im not sure. i really dont know. maybe its a sign... God's conscience? God's voice? Oh my. I just hope I really do make the right decision. But how will I end it and keep the friendship? Ack.
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